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Showing posts with label mystry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mystry. Show all posts

Thursday, 16 January 2014

Where the world’s biggest coffee drinkers live

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Not all coffee drinkers are made equal. By Roberto A. Ferdman  January 15, 2014
America might be famous for running on coffee, but it doesn’t run on much. Not compared to a handful of other countries, anyway. When it comes to actual coffee consumption per person, the US doesn’t even crack the top 15.
For much of Europe, and especially Scandinavia, the story is quite different. In a review in 2010 about Stieg Larsson’s hit Swedish trilogy, the New York Times wrote incredulously about how the books’ scenes seemed to always revolve around endless servings of coffee:
…everyone works fervidly into the night and swills tons of coffee; hardly a page goes by without someone “switching on the coffee machine,” ordering “coffee and a sandwich” or responding affirmatively to the offer “Coffee?”
But as it turns out—and as the Times soon thereafter learned—the coffee obsession has much less to do with Larsson than it does with Sweden. Or really, with all of Scandinavia, the Benelux countries, and bits of Eastern Europe. The Netherlands’ per-capita consumption of 2.4 cups a day is almost the same as those of the US, UK, Spain, and France combined.

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Wednesday, 11 December 2013

Architectural Watercolors by Maja Wronska

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takmaj (Maja Wrońska) on deviantART

takmaj (Maja Wrońska) on deviantART

takmaj (Maja Wrońska) on deviantART

takmaj (Maja Wrońska) on deviantART

takmaj (Maja Wrońska) on deviantART

takmaj (Maja Wrońska) on deviantART

takmaj (Maja Wrońska) on deviantART

I’m really enjoying the use of structure and color by Poland-based watercolor artist  
Maja Wrońska who has captured some lovely scenes from Paris, Venice, Prague, and elsewhere. Catch more of her work over on DeviantArt. (via my darkened eyes)
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Thursday, 5 December 2013

10 Visa Free Destinations for Indian Citizen

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Indian travellers may rule the declining rupee but there are other perks to being an Indian citizen. Holders of Indian passports have visa-free and visa-on-arrival access to about 52 countries and territories around the world. At least 28 of these nations allow Indian passport holders to visit without a 

pre-issued visa. 


In many cases, an Indian citizen's country of residence determines the degree of access to other countries. Indian citizens holding permanent resident (Green Card) status in the United States do not require visas to visit Canada, Mexico and some Caribbean islands. Indians of particular professions with a residency in Gulf Cooperation Council (GCC) countries are exempt from visas to enter the United Arab Emirates. Indian citizens do not, similarly, need a visa to enter Nepal or Bhutan.


1. BHUTAN


Bhutan, the happiest little nation in the world, is among the most sought-after Himalayan destinations for tourists but the Himalayan mountain kingdom is very conservative when it comes to tourism. Travel writer Pico Iyer mentioned it in his book, Falling off the Map, as one of the world's remotest places. Until recently, Bhutan restricted tourist numbers. Though that has changed.


2. BRITISH VIRGIN ISLANDS

Most Indians need to look up the British Virgin Islands on a map. They lie in the Caribbean Sea, and include over 60 islands and keys, of which about 43 are uninhabited. Indian citizens are granted a 31-day visa-free stay in the British Virgin Islands for tourism purposes. One of the best ways to visit the islands is by cruise ship, as many cruises operate from the United States to the nearby US Virgin Islands. There are no direct flights between India and the British Virgin Islands. 

Approximate cost of round trip flight: INR 1,60,000 (via Paris and Saint Maarten) 



3.COOK ISLANDS

The Cook Islands lie in Polynesia, off the coast of New Zealand. They are named after Captain James Cook, who discovered them for the western world in 1770. Since 1965, the islands have been self-governed with free association to the government of New Zealand, which controls the islands' defence,Rarotonga International Airport, the main port of entry to the Cook Islands, is connected to Auckland via daily flights and weekly flights from Sydney, Fiji and Los Angeles. 

Approximate cost of round trip flight: INR 1,60,000 (via Singapore and Auckland).


4. DOMINICA

Not to be confused with the Caribbean nation known as the Dominican Republic, the island of Dominica was the last of the Caribbean islands to be colonized by the British. It has beautiful hiking trails, rainforests and beaches with great opportunities for snorkelling. Indian citizens are allowed to stay for 22 months without a visa. 

Approximate cost of round trip flight: INR 2,00,000 (via Paris and Saint Maarten)
 
5. EL SALVADOR


El Salvador, the most densely populated country in Central America, lies between Guatemala and the Honduras. Volcanoes, mountains and cloud forests offer plenty of nature discovery and hiking opportunities. Old colonial towns and UNESCO World Heritage Sites beckon heritage tourists. Indian nationals are permitted to stay for a maximum of three months without a visa. 

Approximate cost of round trip flight: INR 1,44,000 (via Paris and Miami)



6. GRENADA



The beautiful Caribbean islands of Grenada offer much to tourists in the form of beaches, waterfalls, historic forts and spice gardens. Indian tourists can travel visa-free in Grenada for up to 90, but must show proof of sufficient funds to cover the cost of their travel.

Approximate cost of round trip flight: INR 1.60,000 (via London and Miami).

7. HAITI



Haiti is off the travel map for most tourists owing to the devastation left by the 2010 earthquake. One of the poorest countries in the Western hemisphere, its current political situation and concerns over the safety of tourists has prompted many countries to issue strict travel advisories. That said, Indian tourists are welcome without a visa for a maximum stay of three months.

Approximate cost of round trip flight: INR 1,52,000 (via Dubai and New York)

8. JAMAICA

Jamaica is the most populous of the English-speaking Caribbean countries and its easygoing culture, cuisine and music, besides its many beaches, are attractive to tourists. Indian tourists can stay without a visa on producing a passport valid for six months and sufficient proof of funds and onward travel. 

Approximate cost of round trip flight: 1,53,000 (via Dubai and New York/ Toronto)

9.MONTSERRAT 

Not to be confused with the Spanish region of the same name, Montserrat is an island in the Caribbean southeast of Puerto Rico and once a popular resort. Since 1989, hurricanes and volcanic eruptions forced its closure but the island is slowly limping back. Indian citizens must show proof of citizenship but can travel visa-free on furnishing proof of onward travel and adequate funds. 

Approximate cost of round trip flight: 1,30,000 (to Antigua, via London) and a 15-minute air-hop from Antigua to Montserrat (about INR 5,000)

10. MICRONESIA 


The far-flung Federated States of Micronesia are a group of 607 islands in the Western Pacific Ocean, comprising the states of Yap, Chuuk, Pohnpei and Kosrae. It is considered one of the most remote and beautiful places in the world, with pristine coral reefs, quaint cultures, exotic food and picturesque islands. Indian citizens can travel visa-free for 30 days upon producing proof of sufficient funds, onward travel and accommodation. 

Approximate cost of round trip flight: 2,04,000 (via Hong Kong, Guam and Truk) 
 
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Sunday, 1 December 2013

Fast and Furious Actor Paul Walker Dead at 40

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Paul Walker, an actor best known for his role as a fast-driving cop opposite bad-guy-gone-good Vin Diesel in the Fast and Furious movie series died on Saturday in a car crash in Santa Clarita, California, according to multiple sources. Walker was 40 years old.
News of the fatal crash spread first online after celebrity news site TMZ broke the story. Initially, most other news outlets and Twitter accounts picked it up as a report.
It was another hour before TMZ and then ABC News got confirmation from the actor's representatives.
TMZ's web site was inundated with traffic and, for a brief period of time, actually went down. When it returned, it appeared with this sentence added to the original story: "A rep for the actor confirms Paul died today in the crash after leaving a charity event."
According to the AP, Walker was a passenger in a friend's Porsche, which crashed into a light pole and tree before bursting into flames. Dramatic images of the wreckage soon spread on Twitter.

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Tuesday, 26 November 2013

What You Should Write Down During a Class Lecture

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photo www.lifehacker.com

Your professor says an awful lot of things during class. You can't possibly write it all down, nor should you. To take the best notes (and ace your exams), pay attention to your professor's cues—conscious and subconscious. 

Part of a great guide on note-taking strategies by Brett and Kate McKay on The Art of Manliness, these are the tell-tale signs that you should be writing down what your professor is saying.
o        Anytime the professor says, "You need to know this," or "This will be on the test."     Duh.
o         Anytime the professor repeats himself.
o         Anything the professor writes on the board or includes in a Powerpoint slide.
o         Anything the professor repeats very slowly so that it can be taken down word for word.
o         If your professor starts talking more quickly, or loudly, or with more emphasis.
o        Watch for language that shows relationships between ideas. These sorts of points are often where professors get their exam questions from:
o        first, second, third
o        especially, most significant, most important.
o        however, on the other hand.
o        because, so, therefore, consequently .
   
o       Another great tip is to write down any examples or hypotheticals the professor offers, because you'll probably see a similar one on your final, especially if you're taking math or science classes or are in law school. Examples are also key in computer science/programming classes.

Sometimes, depending on the professor, paying attention is the hardest part. But keep your ears perked for these keywords and points and you might find yourself with more effective notes.


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Sunday, 27 October 2013

Some of Internet Ethics which Govern the Internet Usage

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Some of the internet ethics which govern the internet usage and you should always follow are:



1. You should never use bad language on the internet while using any service like email, chatting, blogging or anything else like this.

2. Email and instant messaging is meant to chat and talk with the friend and relatives. It is not meant to talk with strangers. You should avoid talking with strangers as it can be a great risk. Avoid forwarding emails to unknown persons.

3. You should not try to be someone else or we can say that you should not try to take someone else’s identity as it can be a crime. Do not try to fool others by giving a wrong identity. You should not break copyrights. You can listen or watch songs, can watch movies etc on the internet but do not download them.

4. Do not steal anyone’s information. It is a crime under cyber laws. Do not hack anyone else’s account.

5. It can lead to the loss of important information to the user of the account and the second thing is that it is a crime too.

6. You should respect copyright laws and all the other cyber laws. Keeping all that in mind, you should use internet and computer. If you need to gain access to a file which is not your own, then first seek permission from the owner of that file and only after that make use of that file.

7. You should avoid displaying pornography on the internet. This is the major and the biggest concern today. You should avoid being obscene on the internet.

8. You should respect obscenity laws. Avoid sending viruses and spam emails to the people. This is also one of the major concerns for the people using internet today.

9. All the above mentioned norms should be strictly followed. Respect the cyber laws and keep them in mind.

10. Respect privacy of others and as you want others to respect yours. Internet is an open medium of knowledge for the people. Use it properly and in a healthy way.

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Friday, 25 October 2013

Top 50 Amazing Google Facts and Figures

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Google was founded in 1997 by two Stanford University PhD students Larry Page and Sergey Brin whose initial company mission statement was

“To organize the world’s information and make it universally accessible and useful

Which they seem to have made a good dent in achieving since they started the company.
Technology is enhancing us as human beings and the integrating of artificial intelligence is slowly being weaved and embedded into our activities and habits almost without us noticing. This reliance that is permeating our day to day existence even extends to a reported 60% plus of all buying decisions now starting with a Google search as we start our research online rather than walk the shop aisles and asking sales attendants questions.
It’s been barely 13 years since conception but the search company whose slogan is 
Don’t be evil”  (reputed to have been coined by the Google engineer Paul Buchheit in 2006 ) has now struck out into other technology areas beyond their core search business such as. 

amazing facts of google

1. The original nickname was BackRub due to the backlink technology used to determine site
importance but eventually changed the name to Google originating from the misspelling of the word
“Googol (the mathematician’s term for the number one followed byone hundred zeros) to signify
the large quantities of information for people that it would provide.

2. Google began as a research project in 1996

3. Google.com domain went online in 1997

4. The first funding of $100,000 for Google was provided by Andy Bechtolsheim the co- founder of Sun
Microsystems

5. The CEO for ‘Excite’ George Bell rejected to buy Google when it was offered to him for $1 million
when Brin and Page were finding the search engine taking up to much time from their research in 1999

6. The first round of venture capital of $25 million was provided in 1999 by Kleiner Perkins and Sequoia
Capital 5 years before it floated.

7. Google incorporated in1998

8. 30 million pages indexed in 1998

9. 1 billion pages indexed in 2000

10. Eric Schmidt named CEO in in 2001

11. Acquired Blogger in 2003

12. Adsense launched in 2003

13. Gmail launched in 2004

14. Google IPO in 2004

15. 8 billion pages indexed in in 2004

16. Acquired YouTube in2006 for $1.65 billion

17. 1 Trillion pages indexed in in 2008

18. Android announced in 2007

19. Chrome launched in 2008

20. 1.8 million shares given to Stanford University for its PageRank Patent sold by Stanford in 2005 for $336 million

21. It currently runs over 1 million computer servers in data centers around the world

22. Google search handles over 1 billion searches per day

23. 7.2 billion daily page views.

24. 87.8 billion monthly worldwide searches conducted on Google sites

25. Google’s global search market share is 85%

26. Daily visitors to Google is 620 million

27. Google.com’s worldwide ranking is number 1

28. Revenue in 2000 was $19 million

29. Profit in 2000 was a loss of $14 million

30. In 2009 Google’s revenue was nearly $23 billion

31. In 2009 Google’s profit was $6.5 billion

32. 97% is the percentage of revenue from advertising

33. Stock price at its IPO in 2004 was $85

34. Stock price in 2010 was $535

35. Over 19,000 employees

36. 37% are research staff

37. 37% are sales staff

38. A ‘Noogler’ is a new person at Google

39. 45% of Google’s products are currently in Beta

40. YouTube market share is 39.4%

41. 270,000 words a minute are written on Blogger

42. 146 million Gmail users

43. Google analytics is used on 57% of the top 10,000 websites

44. 400,000 new Android devices are activated every day

45. 100 million activated Android devices

46. 200,000 Apps available for the Android

47. 4.5 billion Apps have been installed from the Android Market

48. Google’s Android mobile operating system is the world’s leading smart phone platform surpassing Nokia
and Apple with a 33% share

49. 33 million Android operating systems were shipped in the the fourth quarter of 2010

50. The Google Driverless car named the ‘Stanley’ won the DARPA Grand challenge and the $2 million
in prize money from the US Department of Defense in 2005

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Monday, 21 October 2013

Top 55 Quotes of Albert Einstein

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A Short Introduction about Albert Einstein

Albert Einstein ( 14 March 1879 – 18 April 1955) was a German-born theoretical physicist who developed the general theory of relativity, one of the two pillars of modern physics (alongside quantum mechanics). While best known for his mass–energy equivalence formula E = mc2 (which has been dubbed "the world's most famous equation"), he received the 1921 Nobel Prize in Physics "for his services to theoretical physics, and especially for his discovery of the law of the photoelectric effect".The latter was pivotal in establishing quantum theory
 

"Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction."
"Imagination is more important than knowledge."
"Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love."
"I want to know God's thoughts; the rest are details."
"The hardest thing in the world to understand is the income tax."
"Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one."
"The only real valuable thing is intuition."
"A person starts to live when he can live outside himself."
"I am convinced that He (God) does not play dice."
"God is subtle but he is not malicious."
"Weakness of attitude becomes weakness of character."
"I never think of the future. It comes soon enough."
"The eternal mystery of the world is its comprehensibility."
"Sometimes one pays most for the things one gets for nothing."
"Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind."
"Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new."
"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds."
"Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler."
"Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen."
"Science is a wonderful thing if one does not have to earn one's living at it."
"The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources."
"The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education."
"God does not care about our mathematical difficulties. He integrates
empirically."
"The whole of science is nothing more than a refinement of everyday thinking."
"Technological progress is like an axe in the hands of a pathological criminal."
"Peace cannot be kept by force. It can only be achieved by understanding."
"The most incomprehensible thing about the world is that it is comprehensible."
"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."
"Education is what remains after one has forgotten everything he learned in school."
"The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing."
"Do not worry about your difficulties in Mathematics. I can assure you mine are still greater."
"Equations are more important to me, because politics is for the present, but an equation is something for eternity."
"If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut."
"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe."
"As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain, as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality."
"Whoever undertakes to set himself up as a judge of Truth and Knowledge is shipwrecked by the laughter of the gods."
"I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones."
"In order to form an immaculate member of a flock of sheep one must, above all, be a sheep."
"The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead."
"Too many of us look upon Americans as dollar chasers. This is a cruel libel, even if it is reiterated thoughtlessly by the Americans themselves."
"Heroism on command, senseless violence, and all the loathsome nonsense that goes by the name of patriotism -- how passionately I hate them!"
"No, this trick won't work...How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?"
"My religion consists of a humble admiration of the illimitable superior spirit who reveals himself in the slight details we are able to perceive with our frail and feeble mind."
"Yes, we have to divide up our time like that, between our politics and our equations. But to me our equations are far more important, for politics are only a matter of present concern. A mathematical equation stands forever."
"The release of atom power has changed everything except our way of thinking...the solution to this problem lies in the heart of mankind. If only I had known, I should have become a watchmaker."
"Great spirits have always found violent opposition from mediocrities. The latter cannot understand it when a man does not thoughtlessly submit to hereditary prejudices but honestly and courageously uses his intelligence."
"The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. It is the source of all true art and all science. He to whom this emotion is a stranger, who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead: his eyes are closed."
"A man's ethical behavior should be based effectually on sympathy, education, and social ties; no religious basis is necessary. Man would indeeded be in a poor way if he had to be restrained by fear of punishment and hope of reward after death."
"The further the spiritual evolution of mankind advances, the more certain it seems to me that the path to genuine religiosity does not lie through the fear of life, and the fear of death, and blind faith, but through striving after rational knowledge."
"Now he has departed from this strange world a little ahead of me. That means nothing. People like us, who believe in physics, know that the distinction between past, present, and future is only a stubbornly persistent illusion."
"You see, wire telegraph is a kind of a very, very long cat. You pull his tail in New York and his head is meowing in Los Angeles. Do you understand this? And radio operates exactly the same way: you send signals here, they receive them there. The only difference is that there is no cat."
"One had to cram all this stuff into one's mind for the examinations, whether one liked it or not. This coercion had such a deterring effect on me that, after I had passed the final examination, I found the consideration of any scientific problems distasteful to me for an entire year."

"one of the strongest motives that lead men to art and science is escape from everyday life with its painful crudity and hopeless dreariness, from the fetters of one's own ever-shifting desires. A finely tempered nature longs to escape from the personal life into the world of objective perception and thought."
"He who joyfully marches to music rank and file, has already earned my contempt. He has been given a large brain by mistake, since for him the spinal cord would surely suffice. This disgrace to civilization should be done away with at once. Heroism at command, how violently I hate all this, how despicable and ignoble war is; I would rather be torn to shreds than be a part of so base an action. It is my conviction that killing under the cloak of war is nothing but an act of murder."
"A human being is a part of a whole, called by us _universe_, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest... a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty."
"Not everything that counts can be counted, and not everything that can be counted counts." (Sign hanging in Einstein's office at Princeton)
Copyright: Kevin Harris 1995 (may be freely distributed with this acknowledgement)
 
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Monday, 14 October 2013

8 Steps to Successful Selling on Craigslist

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Have some crumbling IKEA furniture in your basement that you've been trying to ditch for three years? That's exactly what Craigslist is for (and questionable rideshare requests, of course).
But between creating an irresistible listing and haggling for a better price, getting your items to sell on the site is an uphill battle.
In this Sunday comic, Nitrozac and Snaggy of The Joy of Tech provide eight, easy-to-follow steps to get your junk sold on Craigslist.
Turns out, half the battle is just not getting murdered
Homepage image: Mashable composite. Image via iStockphoto, Alashi.
Comic illustration provided by The Joy of Tech. Published with permission; all rights reserved.


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Sunday, 13 October 2013

`When Your Communication Styles Don't Match

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Why do people who consider themselves good communicators often fail to actually hear each other? Often it’s due to a mismatch of styles: To someone who prefers to vent, someone who prefers to explain seems patronizing; explainers experience venters as volatile.P
This is why so many of us see our conversational counterparts as lecturing, belaboring, talking down to us, or even shaming us (if we are venters and they are explainers) or as invasive, out of control, and overly emotional (if we’re an explainer and they’re a venter). Facing this kind of mismatch, what do you think the chances are for either person actually listening with an open mind? My answer is… very low. It is tempting to say “zero,” but since it’s not possible (or even desirable) to work only with people who match your communication style, you need to develop the skill to try to listen around their communication style.
Listening around that style, however, can be incredibly effortful. When someone is eitherventing/screaming or explaining/belaboring it triggers a part of your middle emotional brain called the amygdala, which desperately wants to hijack your attentive listening and instead react reflexively with whatever your hardwired reactions are. And resisting that amygdala hijack is exhausting.

What to Do with a Venter/Screamer

If your conversational counterpart is a venter/screamer, your hardwired survival coping skill might be to tell them to calm down (which will only make them more upset), to shut down and get silent (which will only make them yell longer, because they’ll think you’re not listening), or to try to point out how irrational venting is (which, as noted above, they will perceive as patronizing and belaboring). Instead, say to yourself, “Okay, here comes another temper tantrum. Just let them blow. Try not to take it between the eyes and imagine you’re looking into the calm eye of a hurricane and the storm is going over your shoulder.”P
To do this, focus on their left eye. The left eye is connected to the right brain—the emotional brain. Let them finish. Then say, “I can see you’re really frustrated. To make sure I don’t add to that, and to make sure I don’t miss something, what was the most important thing I need to do in the long term, what’s the critical thing I need to do in the short term, and what do I need to get done ASAP?” 
Reframing the conversation this way, after they’ve finished venting, will make sure that your “explainer” self knows what to do–instead of ignoring the venting as another random outburst from “Conan the Barbarian” or “the Wicked Witch of the West.” Chances are, they do have something important they’re trying to tell you–even though they’re not communicating it very well.
After they respond, say to them, “What you just said is way too important for me to have misunderstood a word, so I’m going to say it back to you to make sure I am on the same page with you. Here’s what I heard.” Then repeat exactly, word for word, what they said to you. After you finish, say to them, “Did I get that right and if not, what did I miss?” Forcing them to listen to what you said they said, “because it was important,” will slow them down, will help you stay centered and in control, and will earn you their and your own respect.

What to Do with an Explainer/BelaborerP

If your conversational counterpart is an explainer, your hardwired survival coping skill might be to say to yourself, “Here they go again, make sure you smile politely even if you want to pull your hair out. Try not to let your impatience and annoyance show.” The problem with this is that even though they may be oblivious to others as they go on and on, at some level they may be aware of your underlying impatience and… that might actually make them talk longer. Yikes.
Realize that the reason they explain and belabor things is probably because their experience is that people don’t pay attention to what they say. They don’t realize that while that may be true of some truly distracted people, for others, the reason they don’t pay attention is that the speaker is belaboring something that the listener already heard—and doesn’t want to hear over and over again. Another possibility is that these explainers may not be feeling listened to somewhere else in their life (by their spouse, kids, parents, or boss) and is now relieved to have you as a captive audience.P
When the explainer goes into his explanation/lecture/filibuster, say to yourself, “Okay, this is going to take a while.” Put a mental bookmark in whatever you were working on. Then look them in their left eye with a look that says, “Okay, take your time, I’m fully listening.” Instead of feeling frustrated and reacting by become impatient and fidgety, remind yourself, “They need to do this. I can be patient.”P
Then when they finish then apply a similar response to the venter/screamer with the following minor edit: “I can see that you really had a lot that you had to say. To make sure I don’t miss something, what was the most important thing I need to do in the long term, what’s the critical thing I need to do in the short term, and what do I need to get done ASAP?” P
After they respond to that, say to them, “What you just said is way too important for me to have misunderstood a word, so I’m going to say it back to you to make sure I am on the same page with you. Here’s what I heard.” Then repeat exactly, word for word, what they said to you. After you finish, say to them, “Did I get that right, and if not, what did I miss?”P
Your amygdala is probably saying to you and to me, “I don’t want to do either of those things.These people are obnoxious and unreasonable. Why should I kowtow to them?”P
Here are several reasons:P
  1. They aren’t likely to change. These are deeply ingrained personality traits.
  2. Being more open and inviting them to talk rather than closed and resistant will lessen their need to act this way. Listening patiently hath charm to soothe the savage (or boring) beast.
  3. You will feel more self-respect and self-esteem. The above approaches will enable you to remain cool, calm, collected, centered and communicative in situation that formerly frustrated you and made you react poorly.
How to Listen When Your Communication Styles Don't Match | Harvard Business ReviewP

Mark Goulston, M.D., F.A.P.A. is a business psychiatrist, executive consultant, keynote speaker and co-founder of Heartfelt Leadership. He is the author of Just Listen and co-author of Real Influence: Persuade Without Pushing and Gain Without Giving In (Amacom, 2013). Contact him here.
P
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